{"id":"hr-jd-responsibilities-outcomes","audience":"hr","category":"writing-feedback","track":"writing","technique":"examples","title":"Rewrite job responsibilities as clear outcomes","free":false,"task":"The responsibilities in a draft job description are vague and full of jargon. Rewrite them as exactly 4 bullets, each starting with a verb and ending with a concrete outcome or number from the notes, plain text, under 70 words. Drop the responsibility that moved to another role, and use no buzzwords.","materialLabel":"Draft responsibilities and notes (attached to your prompt automatically)","material":"Draft JD - Payroll Specialist (Brightline Utilities), Responsibilities\n\n- Own the end-to-end payroll journey and drive best-in-class outcomes\n- Synergize with cross-functional stakeholders on timekeeping\n- Leverage HRIS to optimize data integrity\n- Champion compliance excellence across jurisdictions\n- Spearhead benefits enrollment for new hires\n\nNotes from hiring manager (Mara):\n- Real job: run biweekly payroll for about 650 employees in 3 states, with zero late paychecks.\n- Work with site managers to fix timesheet errors before each payroll cutoff (Mondays, noon).\n- Keep employee records accurate in our HR system; we audit quarterly and want under 1% error rate.\n- Prepare state tax filings for Texas, Ohio and Georgia on time; payroll tax deadlines are tracked in the calendar.\n- Benefits enrollment moved to the new Benefits Coordinator role in January. NOT part of this job.\n\nRecruiter note: candidates told us last time they couldn't tell what the job actually was.","rules":[{"type":"maxBullets","max":4},{"type":"maxWords","max":70},{"type":"plainText"}],"mistakes":[{"title":"Asking to 'improve the responsibilities'","why":"The AI keeps the jargon lightly reworded and adds more bullets.","fix":"Be exact: \"Exactly 4 bullets, plain text.\"","checks":["maxBullets","plainText"]},{"title":"Trusting the AI to count words","why":"AI is bad at counting. Ask for a total word limit and it often lands over it.","fix":"Cap each bullet instead: \"each bullet under 15 words.\"","checks":["maxWords"]},{"title":"Not using the real job","why":"Without pointing at Mara's notes, the AI rewrites the vague draft into different vague words.","fix":"Add: \"Base each bullet on Mara's notes, with a number or outcome.\"","checks":["r0","r1"]},{"title":"Keeping buzzwords","why":"The AI swaps one buzzword for another.","fix":"Add: \"No buzzwords like leverage, synergize, best-in-class or spearhead.\"","checks":["r2"]}],"promptHints":[{"label":"Starts each bullet with a verb","patterns":["verb","start(s)? with"]},{"label":"Asks for outcomes or numbers","patterns":["outcome","number","measurable","concrete"]},{"label":"Bans buzzwords","patterns":["buzzword","jargon","leverage","synergi"]},{"label":"Drops the moved duty","patterns":["benefits","moved","drop"]},{"label":"Sets a word limit","patterns":["\\d+\\s*words","word (limit|count)"]}],"hint":"Candidates need to see the real job. Tell the AI to use the manager's notes, show the bullet shape with a number, and ban the buzzwords.","rubricLabels":["The 4 bullets cover running biweekly payroll for about 650 employees with zero late paychecks, fixing timesheet errors with site managers before the Monday noon cutoff, keeping HR records under 1% error, and state tax filings for Texas, Ohio and Georgia","Each bullet starts with a verb and includes a concrete outcome or number from the notes, and benefits enrollment does not appear","Uses no buzzwords (no synergize, leverage, best-in-class, champion, spearhead, end-to-end, optimize) and has no heading or intro"]}