{"id":"mkt-x-post-demo-followup-email","track":"marketing","audience":"sales","category":"writing-emails","technique":"context","title":"Write a post-demo follow-up that offers only what's approved","free":false,"task":"You just demoed Clearpath, a fleet maintenance app, to a prospect. Write the follow-up email body under 100 words that opens with their two pains in their own words, confirms the next step and date, and offers no discount, since your manager said no. End with \"- Rafael\". No subject line, plain text.","materialLabel":"Call notes (attached to your prompt automatically)","material":"CALL NOTES - Demo with Halcyon Delivery (Tues, Nov 11)\n\nAttendees: Bev Lin (ops director), Dom Ruiz (fleet manager). Me: Rafael Ortiz, AE.\n\nTheir pains (their words):\n- Bev: \"We find out a van needs brakes when it's already in the shop.\"\n- Dom: \"I'm tracking 64 vans in three spreadsheets.\"\n\nWhat landed in the demo:\n- Service reminders by mileage\n- One dashboard for all 64 vans\n\nQuestions:\n- Can drivers report problems from their phone? Yes (driver app).\n- Integration with their fuel cards? Not yet - on roadmap, no date. Don't promise.\n\nPricing:\n- Quoted $11/van/month = $704/month for 64 vans\n- Bev asked for 15% off. I asked my manager (Leah) after the call: NO discount for this deal size. We can offer a 30-day pilot on 10 vans instead.\n\nNext step agreed: 30-minute pilot setup call, Tuesday Nov 18, 10am, with Dom.\n\nMy style: short, specific, no \"just circling back\" or \"hope this finds you well\".","rules":[{"type":"maxWords","max":100},{"type":"plainText"}],"mistakes":[{"title":"Not saying what goes first","why":"The AI opens with thanks and a recap of the whole demo.","fix":"Add: \"Open with their two pains in their words.\"","checks":["r0"]},{"title":"Burying the next step","why":"The AI ends with a vague \"let me know\".","fix":"Add: \"Confirm the pilot setup call Tuesday, Nov 18 at 10am. Sign - Rafael.\"","checks":["r1"]},{"title":"Offering what isn't approved","why":"To close the deal, the AI gives Bev her 15% or promises fuel card integration.","fix":"Add: \"No discount. Offer the 10-van pilot. Don't promise fuel cards.\"","checks":["r2"]},{"title":"Trusting the AI to count words","why":"Follow-ups come back at 200 words with bolded headings.","fix":"Cap it: \"4 short sentences under 15 words each.\"","checks":["maxWords"]},{"title":"Getting formatting","why":"The AI adds a subject line and bold section labels.","fix":"Add: \"Body only, plain text.\"","checks":["plainText"]}],"promptHints":[{"label":"Leads with their pains","patterns":["pain","their (own )?words","open with","start with"]},{"label":"Confirms the next step","patterns":["nov(ember)? 18","next step","pilot"]},{"label":"Rules out a discount","patterns":["discount","15%","no (price|percent)"]},{"label":"Sets the sign-off","patterns":["rafael","sign"]},{"label":"Sets a word limit","patterns":["\\d+\\s*words"]}],"hint":"Follow-ups work when they echo the buyer and lock in the next step. Tell the AI what to open with, what's approved and how to sign.","rubricLabels":["Opens by restating both pains (finding out about brakes too late; tracking 64 vans in three spreadsheets) before anything else, after any greeting","Confirms the next step as the pilot setup call on Tuesday, Nov 18 at 10am, and ends with '- Rafael'","Offers no discount or percent off (a 30-day pilot on 10 vans is fine), doesn't promise fuel card integration, and avoids 'hope this finds you well' and 'circling back'"]}