{"id":"sales-consultant-scope-rewrite-plain-voice","audience":"consultants","category":"sales-work","technique":"tone","track":"sales","level":"beginner","title":"Rewrite a jargon-heavy scope paragraph for a busy COO","free":false,"task":"You're a finance consultant, and your scope paragraph for Halden Manufacturing reads like a buzzword list. Rewrite it for their COO, Grant Halden, in plain, confident language under 80 words. The first sentence must state the outcome (month-end close from 12 days to 6). Keep the $18,000 fee and the 6-week timeline, and don't use \"synergy\", \"leverage\", \"holistic\" or \"best-in-class\". Plain text. No sentence may be longer than 18 words.","materialLabel":"Your draft paragraph (attached to your prompt automatically)","material":"MY DRAFT SCOPE PARAGRAPH:\n\"Leveraging our holistic, best-in-class methodology, our engagement will unlock synergies across Halden's finance function by deep-diving into the end-to-end close process, socializing key learnings with stakeholders, and operationalizing a future-state roadmap. Over a 6-week sprint, we'll leverage our proprietary toolkit to drive transformational outcomes, ultimately compressing the month-end close cycle from its current 12 days to a target state of 6 days. Total investment: $18,000, inclusive of all deliverables, which comprise a process map, a close calendar, and a 90-day action plan.\"\n\nContext: Grant Halden is the COO, ex-plant manager, reads emails on his phone between shop-floor meetings. He told me: \"Just tell me what I get and what it costs.\"\nI'm Nora Vance, independent finance consultant.","rules":[{"type":"maxWords","max":80},{"type":"plainText"}],"mistakes":[{"title":"Starting with method","why":"The AI keeps the draft's order, so the outcome sits in the middle.","fix":"Add: \"First sentence: the outcome, close from 12 days to 6.\"","checks":["r0"]},{"title":"Keeping the buzzwords","why":"Rewrites often swap one buzzword for another (\"streamline\", \"optimize\").","fix":"Name the banned words: \"Don't use synergy, leverage, holistic or best-in-class.\"","checks":["r2"]},{"title":"Dropping the deal terms","why":"Shortening can cut the fee or timeline.","fix":"Add: \"Keep the $18,000 fee, 6 weeks and the 3 deliverables.\"","checks":["r1"]},{"title":"Trusting the AI to count words","why":"AI is bad at counting and runs long when you only give a total like 80 words.","fix":"Cap each part instead, like \"4 sentences, each under 15 words,\" so the total lands well under 80.","checks":["maxWords"]},{"title":"Forgetting it's plain text","why":"AI adds bold labels and headings, which show up as stray symbols in an email on his phone.","fix":"Add: \"Plain text only. No bold, no headings.\"","checks":["plainText"]}],"promptHints":[{"label":"Says who reads it","patterns":["coo","grant","busy"]},{"label":"Leads with the outcome","patterns":["first sentence","lead with","outcome","12 days"]},{"label":"Bans the buzzwords","patterns":["synergy","leverage","jargon","buzzword"]},{"label":"Keeps the terms","patterns":["18,?000","6 weeks","fee"]},{"label":"Sets a size","patterns":["\\d+\\s*words","under \\d+","short","\\d+\\s*(sentences|lines)"]}],"hint":"Say who's reading and what they care about. Then tell the AI what must come first, what must stay and which words to cut.","rubricLabels":["The first sentence states the outcome of cutting the month-end close from 12 days to 6, and no sentence is longer than 18 words","Keeps the $18,000 fee and the 6-week timeline, and lists the deliverables (process map, close calendar, 90-day action plan)","Does not use the words synergy, leverage, holistic or best-in-class"]}