{"id":"study-personal-essay-paragraph-feedback","audience":"high-school","category":"writing-feedback","technique":"constraints","track":"study","title":"Get feedback on a college essay paragraph without a rewrite","free":false,"task":"You're drafting your college personal essay and want feedback on one paragraph, but the words must stay yours. Get exactly 3 numbered comments, each starting with a short quote of your own words in quotation marks, each under 25 words, plain text, with no rewritten sentences. Your counselor's notes say to cut clichés and show instead of tell, so the comments should use her checklist.","materialLabel":"Your draft paragraph and counselor checklist (attached to your prompt automatically)","material":"MY DRAFT - paragraph 2 of personal essay (Common App prompt 2: a challenge)\n\nEver since I was little, I have always been passionate about helping others. So when my family's laundromat flooded in March, I knew I had to step up. It was a very hard time for all of us. I worked every day after school to help my dad clean the machines and talk to customers. I learned that hard work pays off and that I am a very resilient person. My dad said I was the reason we reopened in only three weeks, and I will never forget the look on his face when the first dryer turned back on.\n\nCOUNSELOR NOTES (Ms. Abernathy, from our meeting)\n- Cut clichés. Admissions readers see \"ever since I was little\" and \"hard work pays off\" thousands of times.\n- Show, don't tell. Don't SAY you're resilient. Let a specific moment prove it.\n- Your best details are the specific ones. Lead with them.\n- Keep it in your voice. Do not let anyone (or anything) rewrite it for you.\n- Word limit for the whole essay: 650. You're at 702.\n\nMy worry: is the dryer ending too cheesy?","rules":[{"type":"numberedItems","count":3},{"type":"maxWords","max":100},{"type":"plainText"}],"mistakes":[{"title":"Asking to make it better","why":"The AI rewrites the paragraph, and then the essay isn't in your voice anymore.","fix":"Say: \"Don't rewrite anything. Only point out what to fix.\"","checks":["r1"]},{"title":"Not saying how many comments","why":"The AI picks its own number, and it usually picks more comments than you need.","fix":"Be exact: \"Exactly 3 numbered comments.\"","checks":["numberedItems"]},{"title":"Trusting the AI to count words","why":"AI is bad at counting. Ask for a total and it often lands 20% over.","fix":"Cap each comment: \"each comment under 20 words.\"","checks":["maxWords"]},{"title":"Vague comments","why":"Without a quote, \"tighten the opening\" leaves you guessing which words they mean.","fix":"Add: \"Start each comment with the exact words you mean, in quotes.\"","checks":["r0"]},{"title":"Ignoring your counselor","why":"The AI uses its own taste instead of the checklist your counselor gave you.","fix":"Add: \"Judge it against my counselor's notes: clichés and show-don't-tell.\"","checks":["r2","plainText"]}],"promptHints":[{"label":"Says not to rewrite it","patterns":["(don't|do not|no|never|not).{0,20}(rewrite|rewritten|replacement|re-?write|write it for)","keep.{0,20}(my|own) words"]},{"label":"Says how many comments","patterns":["\\b(3|three)\\b.{0,25}comment"]},{"label":"Asks for quotes of your words","patterns":["quot","exact words","point to"]},{"label":"Uses the counselor's checklist","patterns":["counselor","clich","show","checklist"]},{"label":"Sets a length limit","patterns":["\\d+\\s*words","word (limit|count)","under \\d+"]}],"hint":"Feedback on a college essay should leave the writing to you. Tell the AI not to rewrite, how many comments, to quote the words each comment is about, and which checklist to use.","rubricLabels":["Each of the 3 comments starts with a short quote of the student's own words in quotation marks","Gives no rewritten sentences, replacement phrases or new versions of the paragraph for the student to copy","The comments apply the counselor's checklist: at least one flags a cliché (such as 'ever since I was little' or 'hard work pays off') and at least one flags telling instead of showing (such as 'I am a very resilient person')"]}