{"id":"wri-col-scholarship-essay-feedback","audience":"college","category":"writing-feedback","technique":"format","title":"Find the biggest gap in your scholarship essay first","free":false,"task":"You want feedback on your scholarship essay before you submit it, not a rewrite. Ask for a first line that starts 'Biggest fix:' and names the most important problem, then exactly 3 numbered notes, each quoting a phrase from your essay. Plain text, no praise intro, and no rewritten sentences. Write a prompt that gets that feedback.","materialLabel":"The scholarship prompt and your draft (attached to your prompt automatically)","material":"HALVERSON FOUNDATION FIRST-GEN SCHOLARSHIP\nPrompt: \"Describe a challenge you have overcome as a first-generation college student, and explain how you plan to give back to your community.\" (250 words max)\n\nMY DRAFT (Luis Ortega, sophomore, nursing)\nMy parents came to this country with nothing, and they worked very hard every single day. I am the first person in my family to go to college. Freshman year was really hard. I didn't know what office hours were, and I thought FAFSA was a type of food. I failed my first chemistry exam with a 54.\n\nEverything changed when I found the campus tutoring center. My tutor, Ms. Adeyemi, showed me how to break problems into steps. I went three times a week. By the final, I got an 88, and I finished the class with a B+. I also started a study group for other first-gen students in my dorm, and six people joined.\n\nCollege has taught me so much about myself. I have grown so much as a person and I am a completely different person now. I learned that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. I am so grateful for every opportunity and I will never stop working hard to achieve my dreams.\n\n(212 words)","rules":[{"type":"numberedItems","count":3},{"type":"plainText"}],"mistakes":[{"title":"Asking for general feedback","why":"The AI gives a long list under headings, starting with what's great.","fix":"Set it: \"First line: Biggest fix:, then exactly 3 numbered notes.\"","checks":["numberedItems","r0"]},{"title":"Missing the prompt's second half","why":"The AI polishes the story and doesn't notice the essay skips 'how you'll give back'.","fix":"Add: \"Check the draft against both parts of the prompt.\"","checks":["r0"]},{"title":"Notes you can't find","why":"The AI says \"the ending is vague\" without pointing at the words.","fix":"Add: \"Each note quotes a phrase from my draft.\"","checks":["r1"]},{"title":"Getting a rewrite and a pep talk","why":"AI opens with \"Great draft!\" and ends with a rewritten version you didn't ask for.","fix":"Add: \"Output only the notes. No praise, no rewrite. Plain text.\"","checks":["r2","plainText"]}],"promptHints":[{"label":"Asks for the biggest fix first","patterns":["biggest fix","first line","most important"]},{"label":"Checks against the prompt","patterns":["prompt","both parts","give back"]},{"label":"Asks for quotes","patterns":["quote","exact (phrase|words)"]},{"label":"Bans a rewrite","patterns":["don'?t rewrite","no rewrit","not (a )?rewrite","only the"]},{"label":"Asks for plain text","patterns":["plain","no bold","no markdown","no formatting","no headings"]}],"hint":"The most useful feedback checks your essay against the question asked. Tell the AI to lead with the biggest problem and point to exact phrases.","rubricLabels":["The first line starts with 'Biggest fix:' and says the essay never answers the second part of the prompt (how he plans to give back to his community)","There are exactly 3 numbered notes after the first line, and each quotes a phrase from Luis's draft in quotation marks","No praise intro, no closing paragraph, and no rewritten sentences or sample wording for him to use"]}